runnin' for/from exercise

I have a love/hate relationship with running.

After a 10K and a 10 mile two years ago and two half marathons last summer, I think that I thought that the running bug would stick....oh, I wished and hoped that it would stick.

...it didn't.

And yet, I just dragged my ass to the gym tonight (and I kind of mean that literally, I wasn't going to go if I couldn't take the car...to the gym...(I know, I'm one of those people...)) for a measly 3 miles, and after stepping off the treadmill, my first thought was "holy crap I feel good!"

Oh life...

love, Bethy

craft fair, Christmas plans, and the return of the netflix

1. For all of you who were wondering, the craft fair went well - not like I sold every pair of earrings well, but ok. I sold about 25 pairs in 4 hours, and actually made a little bit of money too! (Although, let's be honest, all of that went immediately into my debt to Chris for paying December rent).

***And as a special holiday side note - If you need something for a special lady in your life (or if you want pretty earrings for yourself) let me know! I have lots to sell!!***

2. Chris and I will be leaving for Washington in 6 days for Christmas. On Christmas Eve, I'll drive him to the airport so he can do Christmas Day with his family in California. I'm really excited to visit my parents and friends and to see Lisa again - I guess it's only been 6 months, but it feels like a lot longer. I'm sure that the crisp WA air is going to feel ridiculously cold (it always does - even when I was coming from Alaska), and will most certainly go in to Winco and cry about the extremely low prices and really really want there to be one in Boone.

3. My online class is (almost) over, and the final project and final paper were turned in yesterday. So, this means two things - A) It means that I'm going to be considerably less grumpy and stressed, and B) it means that I got Chris to give me his password to Netflix again. (I made him change it two and a half weeks ago so that I wouldn't be tempted to watch anything streaming until my paper/project was done). So, once my stuffs was turned in, I got the new password. BOOM! And there we go with instantly streaming "How I Met Your Mother"!

Until next time,

Bethy

To Gus

My dearest Gus -

Tonight, Chris and I went to a party and we saw the vet who worked with you while you were in the hospital. She remembered you before she remembered us, and I don't doubt for a minute why. You were the delight of all the vets and techs at the hospital for your last week.

Tonight, I label all my earrings "Handmade by Bethy Whalen - silverhilltopdesigns@gmail.com" in memory of you, even while I set up precarious piles of earring cards in the living room that I am sure you would have had on the floor in less than a second if you were still here.

Tonight, I miss you like mad, and am sad that I only got to live with you for one month (and 5 days in the minivan of glory while crossing the country with you). It seems silly that you could convince me to love dogs, even while cursing your name for eating food off the counter/laying on the couch/getting into the garbage for the upteenth time...and yet, it's true. I miss your comforting, if a little drooly head on my knee when I was sad, and how you would instinctively huddle next to me when I broke down. For every time that I yelled at you for climbing on furniture that you shouldn't have, I wish I could give you a hug now.

Tomorrow, I hope that people ask me about my company name, because I will tell them proudly about the joy you brought us.

I'm hoping you are well, and watching Chris and I from a throne grander than the one you had in the minivan, and are continually chewing on a delicious pork loin. Keep watch over us...we need you.

With all my love,

Bethy

Silver Hilltop Designs

In 3 days, I will sit down at a table and see if people will pay me for an item that I made with my own hands. It's a little nerve-wracking. I've been making jewelry (mostly earrings) for years now, but just for myself and family and friends. I have never sold anything...

In the first month of unemployment after moving to Boone, I started beading a little to pass the time during the day. And after we lost Gus, I beaded more to distract myself from the emptyness of the house - my companion had gone to a better place, and I was still here, sitting in the living room, but without someone to keep me company.

We buried Gus on the top of a ridgeline under a large maple tree. Halfway through digging the hole (which took a long time, let's be honest, Gus was no tiny dog, and his box was big enough for him, his blanket, his bone, some flowers and some love notes) I looked up, and noticed what looked like a light green cloud hovering just above the ground. Looking closer, I saw that they were tiny wispy trees. Apparently pine trees, those great giants start as these fragile wisps before they grow strong branches and roots. This image stuck in my mind.

Almost a month later, I decided to apply to sell earrings at the Boone Handmade Market. I wanted to create a name for my product that me

morialized my partner in crime for my first month in Boone. I thought about it for weeks, and nothing seemed to fit. And then, one night, as I was trying to fall asleep, I saw the image of those pine trees, and thought of the hilltop where Gus was. The next day, I sketched that hilltop on a piece of notebook paper.

Silver Hilltop Designs was born. And on Sunday, we'll see if it's a go or not...wish me luck.

Love, Bethy

the holidays 2011

Ooooh holiday season - I can't believe that it's here already. It seems just yesterday everything was new here in Boone, and Chris, Gus and I were surveying the territory. Then classes started for Chris, Gus left us for a life on the farm in the sky, and I grew very close to Chris' streaming netflix account. Then I started at Earth Fare, and Chris got used to my weird schedules and complaining about how much my feet hurt at the end of everyday.

Then came Halloween. Chris and I dressed up as The 1%, and went to a pretty low-key party put on by one of his friends in his program. Soon after that, we traveled to New York/New Jersey for my roommate from JVC's wedding. It was the first time that all the roomies from Newark were reunited. It was completely amazing - and completely bittersweet. The weekend screamed "us" - from my broken zipper on my $20 dress to Alex's suit mishap resulting in a Pee-Wee Herman look-alike...from "accidentally" trying to crash a private party in the bar to going out way too hard the night before and doubts of being able to make it at the reception. It was hard to leave at the end of the weekend - it felt like leaving the JV life all over again.

As soon as we returned to North Carolina, Chris' parents arrived for a few days for Thanksgiving. It was really nice to see them, and especially since Thanksgiving was never a huge holiday in my family growing up, it was great to be able to relax a little and just have fun without any stress. Earth Fare was closed on T-Giving, but in order to get more hours, I took some extra shifts, so my work schedule has been and continues to be a little nuts.

And now it's a few days to December. I'll be going home for about a week, and now more than ever, it's really comforting to think about having a week at home with my parents and Lisa, and to see all my friends from high school. Adjusting to life here hasn't been easy, and through the years, going home has always been a good way to take a breather from the things that aren't going so well in life.

So bring it on, Christmas. And New Years after that. We'll see how I'm doing in January.....

Love, Bethy

My Friday Nights

Katy Perry's Friday Nights consist of dancing on tabletops, taking shots, and kissing people...or perhaps not kissing people (she's not really sure) among other things. There was a time in my life when I could say the same...

Exhibit A:

Nick, I totally miss this moment...though I don't remember too much of it. :)

Currently, I am enrolled in an online class on sustainable local food systems, and I'm in my second class in the certificate program. The first class had all assignments for the week due every Sunday night at midnight. Me being the procrastinator that I am, and being a busy bee that I am would do the reading and assignments every Sunday evening, starting at about 6pm, and finishing right on time. Excellent. (I got an A+ in the class!)

The class I am enrolled in right now has all the week's assignments due on FRIDAY NIGHTS at midnight. So, yup, you guessed it...this is an accurate pictorial display of what my Friday nights have been like recently...

...aaand the results of a night's work. Exhibit B:

In other news, I had my first day of work today at Earth Fare. Being the coffee/smoothie/juice maker and the deli cashier is going to be quite the job - LOTS to learn! I think it'll be fun though, and I already really like the people I work with. More on that later now, I've spent too much time blogging and my homework is WAITING!!

Love, Bethy

There are times when I feel like my heart is literally going to explode out of my chest. There are times when something is so beautiful it hurts to breathe because I imagine that the tiniest change in the air would destroy everything. This feeling is from shedding pieces of myself - every person, every place, every experience. Some people get bigger parts of me, some get small ones...some return them back to owner. Living without a full heart hurts, yet I'm sure it hurts less than living a life never giving your heart to other people...other places...other experiences.

I can't imagine a life like that.