runnin' for/from exercise

I have a love/hate relationship with running.

After a 10K and a 10 mile two years ago and two half marathons last summer, I think that I thought that the running bug would stick....oh, I wished and hoped that it would stick.

...it didn't.

And yet, I just dragged my ass to the gym tonight (and I kind of mean that literally, I wasn't going to go if I couldn't take the car...to the gym...(I know, I'm one of those people...)) for a measly 3 miles, and after stepping off the treadmill, my first thought was "holy crap I feel good!"

Oh life...

love, Bethy

craft fair, Christmas plans, and the return of the netflix

1. For all of you who were wondering, the craft fair went well - not like I sold every pair of earrings well, but ok. I sold about 25 pairs in 4 hours, and actually made a little bit of money too! (Although, let's be honest, all of that went immediately into my debt to Chris for paying December rent).

***And as a special holiday side note - If you need something for a special lady in your life (or if you want pretty earrings for yourself) let me know! I have lots to sell!!***

2. Chris and I will be leaving for Washington in 6 days for Christmas. On Christmas Eve, I'll drive him to the airport so he can do Christmas Day with his family in California. I'm really excited to visit my parents and friends and to see Lisa again - I guess it's only been 6 months, but it feels like a lot longer. I'm sure that the crisp WA air is going to feel ridiculously cold (it always does - even when I was coming from Alaska), and will most certainly go in to Winco and cry about the extremely low prices and really really want there to be one in Boone.

3. My online class is (almost) over, and the final project and final paper were turned in yesterday. So, this means two things - A) It means that I'm going to be considerably less grumpy and stressed, and B) it means that I got Chris to give me his password to Netflix again. (I made him change it two and a half weeks ago so that I wouldn't be tempted to watch anything streaming until my paper/project was done). So, once my stuffs was turned in, I got the new password. BOOM! And there we go with instantly streaming "How I Met Your Mother"!

Until next time,

Bethy

To Gus

My dearest Gus -

Tonight, Chris and I went to a party and we saw the vet who worked with you while you were in the hospital. She remembered you before she remembered us, and I don't doubt for a minute why. You were the delight of all the vets and techs at the hospital for your last week.

Tonight, I label all my earrings "Handmade by Bethy Whalen - silverhilltopdesigns@gmail.com" in memory of you, even while I set up precarious piles of earring cards in the living room that I am sure you would have had on the floor in less than a second if you were still here.

Tonight, I miss you like mad, and am sad that I only got to live with you for one month (and 5 days in the minivan of glory while crossing the country with you). It seems silly that you could convince me to love dogs, even while cursing your name for eating food off the counter/laying on the couch/getting into the garbage for the upteenth time...and yet, it's true. I miss your comforting, if a little drooly head on my knee when I was sad, and how you would instinctively huddle next to me when I broke down. For every time that I yelled at you for climbing on furniture that you shouldn't have, I wish I could give you a hug now.

Tomorrow, I hope that people ask me about my company name, because I will tell them proudly about the joy you brought us.

I'm hoping you are well, and watching Chris and I from a throne grander than the one you had in the minivan, and are continually chewing on a delicious pork loin. Keep watch over us...we need you.

With all my love,

Bethy

Silver Hilltop Designs

In 3 days, I will sit down at a table and see if people will pay me for an item that I made with my own hands. It's a little nerve-wracking. I've been making jewelry (mostly earrings) for years now, but just for myself and family and friends. I have never sold anything...

In the first month of unemployment after moving to Boone, I started beading a little to pass the time during the day. And after we lost Gus, I beaded more to distract myself from the emptyness of the house - my companion had gone to a better place, and I was still here, sitting in the living room, but without someone to keep me company.

We buried Gus on the top of a ridgeline under a large maple tree. Halfway through digging the hole (which took a long time, let's be honest, Gus was no tiny dog, and his box was big enough for him, his blanket, his bone, some flowers and some love notes) I looked up, and noticed what looked like a light green cloud hovering just above the ground. Looking closer, I saw that they were tiny wispy trees. Apparently pine trees, those great giants start as these fragile wisps before they grow strong branches and roots. This image stuck in my mind.

Almost a month later, I decided to apply to sell earrings at the Boone Handmade Market. I wanted to create a name for my product that me

morialized my partner in crime for my first month in Boone. I thought about it for weeks, and nothing seemed to fit. And then, one night, as I was trying to fall asleep, I saw the image of those pine trees, and thought of the hilltop where Gus was. The next day, I sketched that hilltop on a piece of notebook paper.

Silver Hilltop Designs was born. And on Sunday, we'll see if it's a go or not...wish me luck.

Love, Bethy

the holidays 2011

Ooooh holiday season - I can't believe that it's here already. It seems just yesterday everything was new here in Boone, and Chris, Gus and I were surveying the territory. Then classes started for Chris, Gus left us for a life on the farm in the sky, and I grew very close to Chris' streaming netflix account. Then I started at Earth Fare, and Chris got used to my weird schedules and complaining about how much my feet hurt at the end of everyday.

Then came Halloween. Chris and I dressed up as The 1%, and went to a pretty low-key party put on by one of his friends in his program. Soon after that, we traveled to New York/New Jersey for my roommate from JVC's wedding. It was the first time that all the roomies from Newark were reunited. It was completely amazing - and completely bittersweet. The weekend screamed "us" - from my broken zipper on my $20 dress to Alex's suit mishap resulting in a Pee-Wee Herman look-alike...from "accidentally" trying to crash a private party in the bar to going out way too hard the night before and doubts of being able to make it at the reception. It was hard to leave at the end of the weekend - it felt like leaving the JV life all over again.

As soon as we returned to North Carolina, Chris' parents arrived for a few days for Thanksgiving. It was really nice to see them, and especially since Thanksgiving was never a huge holiday in my family growing up, it was great to be able to relax a little and just have fun without any stress. Earth Fare was closed on T-Giving, but in order to get more hours, I took some extra shifts, so my work schedule has been and continues to be a little nuts.

And now it's a few days to December. I'll be going home for about a week, and now more than ever, it's really comforting to think about having a week at home with my parents and Lisa, and to see all my friends from high school. Adjusting to life here hasn't been easy, and through the years, going home has always been a good way to take a breather from the things that aren't going so well in life.

So bring it on, Christmas. And New Years after that. We'll see how I'm doing in January.....

Love, Bethy

My Friday Nights

Katy Perry's Friday Nights consist of dancing on tabletops, taking shots, and kissing people...or perhaps not kissing people (she's not really sure) among other things. There was a time in my life when I could say the same...

Exhibit A:

Nick, I totally miss this moment...though I don't remember too much of it. :)

Currently, I am enrolled in an online class on sustainable local food systems, and I'm in my second class in the certificate program. The first class had all assignments for the week due every Sunday night at midnight. Me being the procrastinator that I am, and being a busy bee that I am would do the reading and assignments every Sunday evening, starting at about 6pm, and finishing right on time. Excellent. (I got an A+ in the class!)

The class I am enrolled in right now has all the week's assignments due on FRIDAY NIGHTS at midnight. So, yup, you guessed it...this is an accurate pictorial display of what my Friday nights have been like recently...

...aaand the results of a night's work. Exhibit B:

In other news, I had my first day of work today at Earth Fare. Being the coffee/smoothie/juice maker and the deli cashier is going to be quite the job - LOTS to learn! I think it'll be fun though, and I already really like the people I work with. More on that later now, I've spent too much time blogging and my homework is WAITING!!

Love, Bethy

There are times when I feel like my heart is literally going to explode out of my chest. There are times when something is so beautiful it hurts to breathe because I imagine that the tiniest change in the air would destroy everything. This feeling is from shedding pieces of myself - every person, every place, every experience. Some people get bigger parts of me, some get small ones...some return them back to owner. Living without a full heart hurts, yet I'm sure it hurts less than living a life never giving your heart to other people...other places...other experiences.

I can't imagine a life like that.

The Best Dog in the World

*Note: I've been writing this in installments over the last two weeks, which is why the tense keeps switching*

Meet Gus.

Gus is one of the sweetest dogs I've ever met, if not a little dopey. He drools when he's hungry, he'll eat absolutely anything, and he sheds like the dickens. Gus was born in Bethel 5 and a half years ago, and has lived there his entire life except for a 6 month "vacation" to Northern California in 2007.

Then, approximately 3 weeks ago, Gus took a road trip across the country on a throne in a minivan, and ended up in a town called Boone, North Carolina. And thus this poor poor dog's troubles began...

Almost immediately after getting to Boone, Gus began to scratch...and snap...and bite. Constantly. This happened just as Chris and I purchased a couch and a comfy chair for our new living room. Gus wanted on the couch. Gus wanted on the chair. Gus liked to rub up against everything, and, in case you haven't guessed, Gus had gotten fleas.

Fleas. Gross. All over my new couch. And my new chair. And my new house. Ugh.

As soon as Chris found out, he put flea medicine on Gus. We washed everything he had touched. We went to bed. We woke up. Gus still had fleas. (*Note: though it was very dramatic in my mind about the couch and chair and fleas, neither Chris nor I ever saw a single flea on anything other than the dog.)

At this point, Chris, knowing how bad I would freak out if our new house was infested with fleas went out to buy flea shampoo, and tried that. No dice.

It was only with the second application of the flea shampoo and the subsequent application of topical preventative medicine that Gus seemed to be rid of the little pests. Of course, we didn't know that they were completely gone, and since he still was scratching where the fleas had bitten him, we were all a little antsy for a week or so.

It was Labor Day morning - a three day weekend, no school for Chris. The three of us had gone for a hike the day before, and had lots of fun tromping around the Blue Ridge Parkway for a few hours. Anyway - Chris takes Gus out in the morning, and is throwing a stick for Gus to catch. One throw, the stick bounces the wrong way, and it catches Gus in the mouth. He gives a moan and retreats to the house. Chris is concerned, but Gus gobbles up his food as usual, drinks some water, all seems to be normal.

Chris leaves for a study sesh on campus, and I’m hanging out with Gus at home. I’m cutting a beautiful peach, and there’s a bum part on the peach that I cut off and call Gus over to take care of it. (It sometimes comes in handy having a garbage disposal dog.) Gus comes over, tail wagging, sniffs the peach and …doesn’t eat it. Wait, what? Gus not interested in food?? I try again. Nope. He sniffed and walked away. Weird.

I cut another slice of peach. Still not interested. Now I start to get scared. Gus eats everything. EVERYTHING. I try to give him a slice of cheese. He takes it, but very hesitantly, and then walks away with his head down. Something. Is. Up. Something not good.

Throughout the day, Gus seems to get more and more mopey, and more and more drooley. Like, he’s not moving his mouth to catch it and just drool everywhere.

That night, we looked up the number to an emergency pet hospital here in town, and took him there. The vet said that he saw a two-inch laceration under his tongue with little bits of stick and other stuff in it. He wanted to clean it out and stitch it up just to make sure that it heals correctly. We brought him home after a few hours, groggy but ok with a pain medication and an antibiotic.

Just like Gus usually is, a few days later, he was back to picking up sticks when we took him out to pee and begging for us to play with him. Him, with a two inch cut from a blunt stick in his mouth.

On Thursday night/Friday morning, Gus got into the trash. Not unusual. Chris woke up before me, and cleaned it up. We were back to normal in the Whalen/Pike household.

Friday night, we got home and I let Gus out. He peed normally, and then pooped a huge poop that consisted of all of his dinner in whole chunks and little globby things that looked like peeled grapes. His poop was so strange that I had Chris come and look at it. Gus went inside then and vomited a few times, puking up all his food. We figure he had just gotten sick from something in the trash that disagreed with him. Saturday, he vomited a bunch of times, and would only eat little pieces of bread soaked in water. Sunday he didn’t seem to be doing any better, so first thing on Monday we took him to the vet again.

They drew some blood, ran some tests, and told us the bad news. The toxin levels in his blood that his kidneys should be filtering out were extremely high. He needed to be admitted, and told us that they thought that with three or four days in the hospital hooked up to an IV, the fluids that he got would flush his system, and his kidneys would start working correctly again. So we admitted him.

The doctors and vet techs at the hospital were completely awesome. It’s a 24/7 facility, so we could visit or call at any time, and there’s always a vet there.

Over the next few days, Gus’ levels stayed roughly the same. Up a few tenths of a point here, then down a few, but mostly they just stayed. Gus got pretty depressed, so I started giving him a naturopathic medicine a few times a day. That helped his mood, but it was clear that he wasn’t getting any better. We talked to the vet Saturday, and she told us that everything they were doing at the hospital were things that we could be doing at home. They would set us up with oral medications and IV bags that we could inject under his skin to keep him hydrated. It seemed like the best way to go – Gus wanted to be home and it was not financially feasible to keep him in there much longer.

On Sunday morning, we brought Gus home. We led him over to his nice, plush, new dog bed, and he laid right down in it. We made a schedule for his medications and subcutaneous fluids, and let him rest.

On living in a college town when you don't go to college

It's hard.

It's really hard.

It's kind of like going to a retreat house while there's a huge group retreat going on, and you're on a one person retreat, but you're an extrovert...and you live at the retreat place...and you don't know anyone...and did I mention you're an extrovert?? Yeah, that's what it's like. FRUSTRATING. Especially when I see college students all walking around, making friends with each other. UGH.

And I know that it'll be better when I get a job and actually have something to leave the house for everyday, but that hasn't happened yet.

HOWEVER, things got a little better when Chris and I bought and insured our new car (pictures to come soon) so now at least I can drive around town. (Yesterday consisted of entering what felt like every single store in town looking for sheets to fit our bed for the cheapest price possible. Pictures soon on that one too!)

Anyway, the house is coming together, and that is nice. We have almost all the furniture we need, and it's starting to feel like home now.

Love, Bethy

Life

is beautiful - in its experiences, and sorrows, joys and surprises.

I thought leaving Bethel - again - would be easier. Simpler the second time around to see that just because I don't live here anymore doesn't mean that I won't come back to visit, doesn't mean that I won't still have friends (and a sister!) here. I have been inordinately strong the last few days, and foolishly chalked it up to experience in leaving places. After all, this is the 3rd year in a row moving somewhere in August and leaving the following summer. I was surprised by my lack of tears in the last week, by my feeling of calm saying goodbye.

And then, it hit. 6 hours to go until I get on the jet, and I'm sitting on my empty bedroom floor, sobbing. It seems silly - I've done this before. I've said goodbye to these people, this town, this house, this room even.

I still don't know what Bethel's magic is, exactly. But it's a place that can never be forgotten, and never be duplicated. I am sad to leave it. I will miss the sunrises and sunsets, and especially those weeks in the summer when the sun doesn't rise or set. I will miss the tundra cotton blowing in the wind. I will miss the ever changing colors of the tundra, rolling into the distance until it kisses the sky at that thin line that so many people living elsewhere have never seen. I will miss snuggling in the covers of my bed knowing that it is -40 outside. I will miss the heat of the sunlight in the summer, and the barbecues that happen every nice day for those 3 months. I will miss epic parties - planned and unplanned, costumed and otherwise. I will miss sitting around a kitchen table and talking about life, plans, sex, food, and most importantly, how shitty the weather is outside. I will miss making music with friends - creating something amazing out of instruments, voices, and occasionally, a shake weight.

So goodbye, Bethel, again. I hope that I can be happy in Boone, and I hope that your impact on my life informs me there. I know that you will be here to welcome me back every time with a blast of cold wind, a twinkling horizon, and an airport full of welcoming arms.

Love, Bethy

Near the record

July 13, 2011

8:54am

43 degrees F

feels like 38 degrees F

record low for this date:

39 degrees F (1997)

that's right. the windchill is one degree colder than the record low for this date. to say nothing of the fact that right now, it's only 11 degrees above freezing...in the freaking middle of july.

uuuuuugh.

ok, time to get out there and farm.

Bethy

Candles

After my birthday party on Saturday night, Chris tells me "you know - this is a really important birthday you just had." Yes...I mean, we're moving to North Carolina together, I'm leaving Bethel again, I'm trying to get a job in the field that I'm interested in, etc. There's lots of reasons why this birthday is an important one. "I know - but what one reason do you mean?" I asked.

"This is the last birthday that you can have the right number of candles with only one package - they only come up to packages of 24."

Uh...thanks boyfriend.

-Bethy

the 24 of 24

As I will be turning 24 in a few minutes, when the clocks in Alaska strike 12 midnight, I have decided to post my 24 of 24 - a list of things I would like to accomplish in my 24th year of life. They are varied in difficulty level, and in category, but I hope that the next 365 days will allow many opportunities to try all of them (I mean, let's be honest, even if they were split evenly, I have more than two weeks to do each one). I'll try to post now and then on ones that I have achieved, and the ones that continue to elude me. But for now, without further ado:

The 24 of 24

1. Blog at least once a week

2. Do some kind of exercise at least 20 minutes a day

3. Learn how to sew well enough to make a (cute) skirt

4. Win a game of Settlers of Catan

5. Successfully craft something and sell it

6. Allow Chris to teach me one outdoor activity and do it with him on some sort of consistent basis

7. Make a batch of homemade cheese

8. Brew my own beer

9. Purchase a pig and kill it myself

10. Successfully grow a garden

11. Make homemade powdered hot chocolate packets

12. Live with a dog

13. Visit the Four Corners

14. Make a rug out of knotted T-shirt remnants

15. Reunite with my four Newark JVC roommates

16. Do an overnight backpacking trip with Chris

17. Get fitted for a bra that actually fits me

18. Make a homemade facial mask

19. Perfect my braided challah recipe

20. Hug at least one person everyday

21. Own (and actually use) a Neti-Pot

22. Run another half marathon in less time than 2:11

23. Take a picture that gets published somewhere

24. Never go to bed angry

Let's see if I can do it. :)

-Bethy

Hey...mama rock me.

For most FJVs/hippies/Old Crow Medicine Show aficionados out there, the statement "headin' down south to the land of the pines" can only be answered with "thumbin' my way into North Caroline" - a response that not only cleverly rhymes well, but starts out one of the most well known OCMS songs. "Wagon Wheel" was a song originally partially composed by Bob Dylan, and finished by Old Crow (look it up on Wikipedia for more info on that) that tells a story of a journey south down the east coast to North Carolina. The song describes meeting a truck driver in Philadelphia, and finding out that he is headed not to Raleigh (where the singer wants to go), but west of there - to Johnson City, Tennessee. Does he ever make it? Who knows...

Now, I'll state for the record that I've known (and liked) this song for years. I've known all the words (though I've never really payed any special attention to them). I've been to Raleigh a few times before, and Philly quite a lot last year. Roanoke? Cumberland Gap? Johnson City? Not a clue where they were, and I never had any reason to look it up.

...that is, until now. Turns out that if that guy had taken the truck driver up on his offer, and gone all the way to Johnson City, he would have only needed to hitch another ride 247 miles straight to the east to meet his love in Raleigh. If he was up to the journey, an hour and a half in, perhaps in time for a coffee break, and just about 10 miles over the North Carolina line, he would have come across the town of Boone.

Boone is a small city in global scale (about 17,000), but a hub in the region to all the tiny towns in the area. Perhaps our intrepid traveler and his freewheeling friend would have grabbed a bite to eat in one of the cafes in town, or taken a break to stretch their legs on the Appalachian State University campus. Or maybe he would have wanted to get to Raleigh so fervently that Boone would have been nothing but a name on a highway sign, blurring as they sped past.

In exactly one month from tomorrow, I will undertake my own journey south, leaving Alaska and its "north country winters" to seek a life in North Carolina. Instead of coming down the east coast, I'll be proceeding down the west coast before crossing the country.

At the end of the trip, I'll find myself on US Route 321. I'll make sure to stop in Johnson City, maybe just to see if there's anyone who needs a ride as far as Boone. I won't be able to help someone who wants to meet his love in Raleigh, but I can take them those 55 miles, before seeking out my own adventure with someone I love.

So rock me mama like a wagon wheel
Rock me mama anyway you feel
Hey mama rock me
Rock me mama like the wind and the rain
Rock me mama like a south bound train
Hey mama rock me

Hey mama rock me


Love, Bethy

Mothers, food allergies, and beautiful music

I had food allergies as a child. Many, many allergies (though, as it turns out, not as many as my sister). Two children with different food allergies made it hard for my mother, so, with few exceptions, what one child couldn't eat, the other child didn't either. I know that Lisa couldn't eat wheat when we were young, and to this day, I don't know if I was allergic as well, or just brought along for the ride, but as kids, my sister and I ate more strange grains than I can count. Quinoa (keen-wah) was one of those grains, and though I'm not really sure if my mother ever made a cake out of quinoa flour, my family grew up joking about our quinoa birthday cakes. I do know that we had some cakes made out of wacky ingredients, thanks to cassette tape audio recordings of all the birthday dinners at my home.

One of the things that I was allergic to was milk. Regular (cow's) milk. I remember trying to eat cereal plain - gross. I even once poured orange juice over it - bad idea, but my mother made me eat it anyway because we didn't waste food (and let's be honest, she did warn me about how icky it would be before I did it...). Well, since I could not have milk, and soy milk wasn't everywhere in stores like it is now, we got goat milk from a local farm for me to drink. I don't remember too much about the goat milk in particular, except that I did drink it, so it couldn't have tasted that bad, but all I wanted was some of Lisa's "cow's milk". Of course it was called cow's milk, because my milk was just "milk". Being jealous of Lisa's "cow's milk" was one of the most clear memories of my childhood.

I don't have any food allergies anymore - my mother, bless her, got involved in Applied Kinesiology, and we did lots of muscle testing, and we cured the allergies. Now, some people say Applied Kinesiology is bunk, and some say it's a wonder cure. I don't really care what other people say - it worked for me, and I can drink milk now, so there you go.

I'll leave you with a picture of my mother and me in London in 2007. After my term in Dublin, we traveled all around England and Scotland. Here we are in Trafalger Square, on what I remember was a really really hot day.

And for the beautiful music, I'm currently listening to the Glacial Erratics, four women who have an incredible gift of music. Here's what they have to say about the "Wide Blue World", on their Tides of Change CD.

Go tell my mama

Tell my papa too

Go tell the neighbor boy, and the friends I knew in school

I'm leaving Dixon

Cross that south coast county line

I'm off to see the wide blue world

The wide blue world, the wide blue world

Such a big open space for a restless little girl

I don't know if, or when, I'll be coming back again

From the wide blue world, the wide blue world.

Now I got my guitar, I got my trusty mandolin

I got a shawl around my shoulders and a picture of my kin

I've got my change of clothes, and my sturdy walking shoes

A little money in my pocket for the wide blue world...

Love, Bethy