This is a Public Service Announcement

I'm in my bedroom in Boston right now listening to NPR reporters talk about a salmonella outbreak that's happening in chicken coming out of California.  Some CDC employees are being brought out of furlough so they can work on this.  This is scary.

Obviously, being aware about what you are eating and where it came from is something I encourage people to do all the time, everyday.  I am literally getting a masters degree in this.  People need to be more aware about what they put into their bodies.  But I know that not everyone cares, or have the resources to do this all the time.  I'd be lying if I said that I did it all the time.  I eat more breakfasts at Dunkies than I would like to admit.

But the government is shut down right now.  Food inspections aren't being done because staff are being furloughed.  Food inspections.  INSPECTIONS ON THE FOOD THAT IS IN THIS COUNTRY.

If you trusted the government with ensuring that the food you eat is good.  And by "good" here, I don't mean tasty - I mean safe to eat.  If you trusted the government with this before (and if you did, please, let's talk about that, I've got some information that you should know) be assured - these inspections aren't happening with the frequency that they were.

So please friends, now, more than ever -

*Buy foods that you know the source of.  (I'm not talking about the grocery store here - I'm talking about country of origin)
*Make sure you are cooking foods appropriately and thoroughly.  (Sure - rare meat is some people's idea of a good time.  But I wouldn't go there if I didn't know the farm that the meat came from.)
*This is the best time to explore local food systems.
*Make sure that you are checking for food recalls/investigations that are happening.  
*Educate yourself. The information is out there.


Stay safe friends, I don't want anyone getting sick from tainted chicken...



-Bethy

Frozen in the Egg Aisle

     I've been studying food policy in grad school for almost a year now.

     Whew.  That feels like a long time when I type it like that.

     But the truth is that I've been learning about how food is organized, labeled, and kept safe to be sold - on governmental levels of all sizes, and when I sit down to think about it, I really do know a LOT about our food system.  I thought I knew it was broken before - turns out, I didn't even know the start of it.
     I've learned a lot about labeling - how all those words get onto your milk, meat, and prepackaged salad bags.  Every word is the result of a regulation.  Some mean something very specific ("Certified USDA Organic"), some mean something a little less specific ("cage free"), and some - sorry to break it to you - mean absolutely nothing at all ("all natural").

     (Sorry if I just made you cry when you scurried off to your pantry/fridge to see lots of foods with the "all natural" label on them...I'll post about it later, it has absolutely no regulation, effectively making it an absolutely useless value claim.)

     Anyway - the point is, I've been learning a lot, but as I'm running 16-18 hours of every day between work and school, training for my marathon, singing at church, and having some semblance of a social life, up to this point, my eating hasn't changed that much.  (The one big exception here is clearly my purchase of a CSA this summer, which I will also post about later).  Though I know about values claims on labels on foods, I'm living a pretty standard "what is the most convenient, nutritious food that I can get for the lowest price?"
     Now, I've always eaten eggs.  My mother raised me on them, and since I don't tend to cook a ton of meat at my house, I've always seen them as a great source of protein for not that much money.  While I've eaten farm-fresh straight-out-the-chicken eggs (and they are INCREDIBLE - if you haven't had that egg eating experience, find a farmer right now, and buy some eggs from him/her. (If you need help locating a farmer, the USDA is here to help you with their Know Your Farmer, Know Your Food website)  You won't regret it) I don't have the time to seek out/go to a farmers' market here in Boston to find those eggs here.  Thus - I eat store bought eggs.
     I eat a LOT of eggs.  If I'm making most of my meals at home, I could take down a dozen eggs in three to four days.  (I usually don't, but that's just because I don't want to be going to the grocery store that often).  As a combination of loving eggs, and loving finding good food at grocery stores for cheap (THAT is just a combination of my frugal nature, loving deals/steals/couponing, and not feeling guilty for buying food because, well, I have to eat) I have always just bought the cheapest eggs at the grocery store - the large, white, store brand "normal" eggs.  Usually they're between $1.19 and $1.99.  Not a bad deal for a few days worth of protein.

     So, it was about a week ago, and I hadn't been in a grocery store for a while (an result of the CSA).  I had no eggs at home, and was walking towards my apartment from campus.  I was right next to the Star Market, so I went in there for a few things instead of going to Trader Joe's like I usually do.  I walked back to the egg section, imagining grabbing a dozen of Star Market's finest.  I stopped in front of the refrigerated case, and was instantly so overwhelmed.  The cheap eggs were $1.29 - a great deal!  And yet, this is what was flashing in my head -

     Now, I have known my entire life about the realities of egg production in huge industrial systems.  And it's terrible, but it's never changed the reality that I want my eggs, and I don't always have $5 to hand to a farmer who I know isn't keeping his/her chickens this way.  To cut to the chase, whether or not it should, knowing has never changed my mind before.  And yet, there I was, standing in front of that case, and I couldn't even look at those $1.29 eggs.

     So, I turned to my other choices - and by golly, there were a TON of other choices, ranging from $1.99 to $5.49 a dozen.  I was assaulted by labels like:

• certified organic
• all natural
• omega-3 enriched
• cage free
• free range
• humanely raised
• vitamin D enriched

     These were in all sorts of combinations, and appeared on both brown and white eggs, all toting supposed health benefits, when, really, all I wanted was some cheap protein.  But, since I knew what all these words meant (and which meant anything at all) as I was standing there, I knew I was going to just have to figure it out.

     It took me the better part of 20 minutes to do it.

     I ended up with Born Free brand Free Range Certified Humanely Raised and Handled Omega 3+D brown eggs.  They were on sale for $3.49, and I felt good about leaving the store with them in my bag.  But as I was walking home, I realized that this was the beginning - that the things that I learned in class were no longer just things I knew in my head, and could easily separate from the life that I led outside of class.

     It is terrifying.  I've come to terms that my cooking and eating habits have just taken a turn for the educated, and that means a whole lot more thinking about my food outside of class, and inside my kitchen.  I guess it's just the moment when the learning becomes synonymous with my actions.  Scary - but exciting - as all important life decisions are.

     And that's where I'm at now.  Actually taking a really hard look at what I'm buying when I go to the grocery store.  And, in effect, going to the grocery store a whole lot less.

     So, go - check out your egg section the next time you're at the store.  Even if you buy the cheap eggs, look at the other ones.  Learn about values claims on eggs - what all those terms mean, who is regulating them, what the laws are in your state/city/region.  Even if it hasn't before, it might change your mind this time.

Emo poetry gots to go!

Uuuuuuugh.  This blog is so emo-y these days.  I sincerely apologize for that.  Gross.

While I totally support my own emotional needs to be sad, and mad, and weepy, I honestly don't think that I need to emote all over you guys.  Everything that has happened/been happening with Chris over the last two months is done, it's final, and while I know that I'm not going to be "moving on" anytime soon, I need to turn to another medium for my terrible "I'll never love again"/"my entire life plan was just decimated in a conversation on the way to the airport" sappy poetry.  So...

I'm so busy these days.  And perhaps in the interest of just being me, and the need to be busy, and partly in the interest of attempting to keep my mind off of being sad, I'm totally overloading myself.

BUT, it won't be that way forever (HA!).  And I have plans galore for this blog.  LOTS OF PLANS.

Like making it really focused on food and food issues (because, come on, I mean, that's what I'm all into these days) and other things.

But mostly that I'm going to take a short break from this blog, in order to finish my online class, finish my BU classes, and take a fucking breath for a hot second.

Don't panic.  I'll be back before you know it.  Seriously.

Love, Bethy

who would have thought...

     8 years ago today, I was a senior in high school.  I had just decided that I would be going to the University of San Francisco for Performing Arts and Social Justice in the fall, and I was excited...and absolutely terrified.  I had never lived anywhere except Lacey, WA, the only international trip I had ever gone on was to Canada, and I had never flown on a plane by myself.
     I would have never guessed that 8 years later I would be sitting here, in Boston, in graduate school - after living in and loving California, Ireland, Mexico, Alaska, New Jersey, and North Carolina.  How could I have imagined moving myself, my life, my things across the country - and world - so many times, and finding the most excellent people on my journeys.  I had no idea...
   
     That 17 year old senior had no clue what it was like to get her heart broken (like REALLY broken), though she thought she had a good idea...she had no idea how her perceptions of herself, ever growing, ever changing, would make her a stronger person.  She didn't realize that not everything is black and white, and that just because it's not right for her, that doesn't mean it's wrong for someone else.
     But most of all, she had no way of knowing just how strong she could be.  Lacey, it turns out, didn't push her much.  But the other places did.  And she responded to the pushing and the pulling by being more flexible than that 17 year old ever thought was possible.  (And then, when the time for flexibility was over, she stood up strong, and took no one's crap).
     Some of the things that used to make her heart dance still do, and she had discovered a whole host of other things that bring her joy.  She couldn't have known that the joys would get better, and the disappointments would get worse, but that, after a while, this wouldn't be a surprise anymore.
     She would be able to advocate for herself in times of stress or confrontation.  She would still feel like crying if she felt confronted, but she would eventually stop being embarrassed about it, and would be able to own her tears, and stop them from weakening her.  She would find that the emotional freedom that comes from crying is worth its weight in gold.
     And she didn't realize that time goes so fast, and that's not a reason to hide inside and hoard it, but instead to take it all in and make as much of it as she can.  Cause life - it's happening.  And you never know when that's going to end.  Carpe Diem, 17 year old Bethy.  These last 8 years have been fucking amazing.  Here's to a whole bunch more...

Love, Bethy

PS.  There is one thing that the 17 year old was really good at, though, that the 25 year old is very good at too - procrastinating on homework, hahaha.  No, but seriously.  Ugh.
   

settle?

Sometimes I get really exhausted.

I was thinking about North Carolina last night, as I was falling asleep, and it occurred to me that the 10 months I spent there - living, working, doing online classes, hanging out with friends - in some respects it doesn't feel very real.  I remember leaving New Jersey after my JV year, and thinking that I couldn't possibly be moving again, and that although I didn't know what the hell I wanted to do with my life, or where I wanted to be, I was getting so. damn. tired.  Just so tired of moving, of uprooting myself, and that the excitement of packing everything up and going on yet another adventure was waning.

And since that move away from Newark in 2010, I've done it 3 more times.  Newark to Bethel, Bethel to Boone, Boone to Lacey, Lacey to Boston.

I'm tired.

I still love the adventure, but as I begin 2013 (with a little better idea of what I want to do with my life, but with the same amount of hopelessness in regards to where I can find a job like that), it also occurs to  me that making friends, feeling at home in each new place is getting harder.  And for me, who exists the best with expansive support systems, feeling that isolation, even in the midst of a super busy life, is hard.

I have this incredibly full life in Boston - school (classes at BU and online classes) and work are enough to take up more than 30 hours a day, but it's hard not to romanticize the days when I felt more included in a social group and less like someone who has friends at work and friends at school and friends who I can call occasionally to get a drink (if I ever have the time) but no one who can fit in all these places.  I miss having people around me who know enough about all the different facets of my life to understand stories I tell about my horrendous day at work, or that time I got blackout at the bar and fell down on the sidewalk, or how I'm having a hard time handling the workload in Anthro. (true story - this class hasn't even started yet, but we got the syllabus, I'm terrified.)

And this work is probably of my own making.  And I hope that as 2013 surges ahead, I'm able to help myself do this - I can't hide under the mask of "this is my first semester and I'm just trying to get the lay of the land" anymore.  I'll need to own up to the feelings of "I miss my sister" and "I miss my boyfriend" and "I miss my high school/college/Ireland/Bethel/JVC friends" because they have existed in their contexts, and perhaps I just need to buck up and create a context for Boston.  I know that there are people out there in this big city that love me, and I know that, in this respect, I need to push past the exhaustion - maybe just this one more time.  (hahaHA ok, let's be real - one more time??  Even I'm not delusional enough to believe that...)

Forever on the run,
Bethy

From winter to summer...

It's been forever.  Well...if not forever, then at least two seasons.  In these two seasons, I have...

1.  Been accepted to graduate school, and chosen to attend Boston University for a Master of Liberal Arts in Gastronomy with a concentration in Food Policy!

2.  Mastered making a cappuccino.

3.  Quit my job at Earth Fare, and said goodbye to Boone, NC.

4.  Moved back in with my parents in Lacey, WA.

5.  Undertaken my parents' 1 acre absolute mess of a backyard as my "summer job".

6.  Made homemade ricotta (it's easier than you think it is, and tastes like heaven!)

...I'm sure there's more, but that's for another post.  (Along with my results of 24 of 24 that I posted last year as I was turning 24.  I'll be 25 in about a week and a half - probably I'll come up with another list of things to do, haha.)

Love, Bethy

a list

1. Friends are awesome and I would never want to go without them.

2. The older I get, the more I feel like I need my mother when things actually get difficult.

3. Whitney Houston's version of "I Will Always Love You" absolutely informed my childhood in a huge way, and I will always love it better than the Dolly Parton version.

4. I never thought, in my wildest dreams that I would walk into a Panera, order a bagel plain and a cup of hot water because 2oz. of cream cheese and a cup of coffee were too expensive.

5. Montana State University application is IN!

6. Gotta go, or I'll be late for work!

Love, Bethy

Mornings

I can hear the birds chirping. Loudly. And honestly, as anyone who has ever lived with me knows, that is absolutely not normal. I am as big of a tried and true night owl as anyone has ever been, and damn proud of it. But this morning, despite falling into bed at 2am, I awoke early, with Chris as he was running out the door to an early class. And I will admit there is something to seeing the sun crest over the mountains, coloring the lawn to ready the world for the day. And it wasn't until I heard the birds singing that I realized how I so rarely hear them.

The application to NYU is due Wednesday. I suppose I'm freaking out about it enough that I don't even know what to do with myself. I've freaked myself out into a calm-like state of perpetual anxiety. That sounds like an oxymoron, but I promise you - it's not. It just leads to completely random screaming and crying in some attempt to let out a volcano of pent up emotions somewhat akin to pouring boiling vinegar into a bottle of baking soda. BOOM. Random and explosive...just ask Chris.

Of course, everything that should have been done weeks ago isn't completely finished. I pray that my Canadian transcripts get here soon, and that NYU has a third-person grace period. Other than that, I'm relying on lots of prayer. (Hey - I'm at least super-proud of myself that I managed to ask for letters of recommendation in a timely manner - if that's not a bonus, I don't know what is!) But seriously folks - if actually going to grad school is half as hard as applying to grad school, I might just do ok. :)

Of course, after Wednesday, the work isn't over. Montana State's deadline is Feb. 15th, and Boston's is March 1. Antioch accepts applications on a rolling basis, but I'd like to get them all done roughly the same time so I'm not dragging it out, so I've given myself a deadline of March 15th for Antioch.

I started my new Canadian class too, and HOO-BOY, it's a doozey! I'm not sure that I've had to read anything that dense since college, and, because I was a Performing Arts and Theology major, possibly not even then. I opened my assigned chapter on Food Policy, and found myself having to look up economics terms on Wikipedia to make it through the introduction to the chapter. Wikipedia was a little bit of help...until under the definition of the word, I found a math problem. WHAT?!?!?! A math problem?!?!?! WTF is going on here? Ugh. It was a rough night last night.

In other news, Chris got accepted to an internship in Anchorage this summer. He'll be leaving probably early May, and may not be back until right before school starts in August. That leaves me with more possibilities than I thought for the summer. And, as of right now, that what it all is - with nothing set in stone, all I have is possibility. It's terrifying. Just as it's been every. time. Every year, every change, every time. It's exciting, yes. It's scary, yes. And though I grow weary of it, I wouldn't deny my callings just to stay put. And I hope and pray that I will know when that time presents itself to stay somewhere. I hope I recognize it. Because I'm not really sure I've experienced it before. Ever.

blogging (and other things)

I get annoyed when people don't update their blogs.

...yes, I know. I don't update my blog very often. I actually think about blogging more than I do it. It's a problem. But, I like...scratch that...LOVE reading other people's blogs. (Mostly people I know, I don't know, it makes it feel a little less voyeuristic to me). And if I check, and you haven't updated your blog, there's a tiny little piece of me that feels sad. Lame, but true.

ANYWAY, the key to that whole piece there is that I will try to make a concerted effort to blog a little more consistently, just in case there's another wacko like me out there who really feels the need to read my ramblings on a semi-regular basis.

So, recently life has been crazy (no surprise there). Really crazy. I did take the GRE a few days ago. It went ok actually. I mean, I threw myself into a test designed to evaluate one's readiness for graduate studies asking questions about formulas that I haven't even given a second thought about since my senior year of high school. I studied math I haven't seen for 6 years for 6 days before the test. I didn't blow it out of the water, but I was pretty impressed with my score, considering. (Who remembers that one of the "special" right triangles has a ratio of 5:12:13 and has two thumbs??)

THIS GUY!

I also have worn red lipstick 3 times already in the new year! I completely love it, and am so excited that I made that one of my new year's resolutions!!

I also have signed up for another class in my Canadian certificate program. Initially, I wasn't going to - last semester turned out to be a little bit of a clusterfuck in terms of getting everything in, and I definitely wasn't as prepared or present for the class as I should have been. However, I made a little bit of a last minute decision, and signed up on Friday. The class started today, and after reading all the course materials, I know that it's going to be more difficult than the others have been. However, I think that it could be very rewarding as well. And, all in all, it's good preparation for...

Grad school.

Yes, I'm applying to grad school (which is a big part of the "life is crazy" bit). In between working, taking my class, trying to train, and attempting to keep my house warm (and that's the subject of another post entirely) I'm contacting references, ordering transcripts, and working on personal statements for four different grad programs. Now, applying to one grad school is tough. There's a lot that goes into the application, and working with other people's recommendations, and deadlines, and essays...it's a lot. With four, I want to smash my head into a brick wall. Of course, with four different applications comes four different essays, ordering enough transcripts from both USF and St. Lawrence (my Canadian classes), and a dazzling 10 recommendations (3 each for 2 schools, 2 each for the other two). Now, I'd like to think that I would be able to handle that, but here's the rub: every single program has a different format for their recommendations. There's the one with the online form that can only be accessed by registering my recommenders into a website. There's the two schools that have forms that have to be printed and sent in by paper copy, but have completely. different. questions. And then there's the school that just asks for a "letter of recommendation". That's it. No requirements, no guidelines, no nothing. Just a letter.

Trying to work out who I should ask for each school, in each format, by each due date is dizzying. And I really hope that I can get it all done in time. I'll have to write another blog about the programs I'm applying to another time.

And with that, I'm going to go get on that. Because it's almost 10pm, I'm exhausted, my house is a mess, and I have a personal statement to write, haha.

Until next time, (hopefully not too long!)

Bethy