On living in a college town when you don't go to college

It's hard.

It's really hard.

It's kind of like going to a retreat house while there's a huge group retreat going on, and you're on a one person retreat, but you're an extrovert...and you live at the retreat place...and you don't know anyone...and did I mention you're an extrovert?? Yeah, that's what it's like. FRUSTRATING. Especially when I see college students all walking around, making friends with each other. UGH.

And I know that it'll be better when I get a job and actually have something to leave the house for everyday, but that hasn't happened yet.

HOWEVER, things got a little better when Chris and I bought and insured our new car (pictures to come soon) so now at least I can drive around town. (Yesterday consisted of entering what felt like every single store in town looking for sheets to fit our bed for the cheapest price possible. Pictures soon on that one too!)

Anyway, the house is coming together, and that is nice. We have almost all the furniture we need, and it's starting to feel like home now.

Love, Bethy

Life

is beautiful - in its experiences, and sorrows, joys and surprises.

I thought leaving Bethel - again - would be easier. Simpler the second time around to see that just because I don't live here anymore doesn't mean that I won't come back to visit, doesn't mean that I won't still have friends (and a sister!) here. I have been inordinately strong the last few days, and foolishly chalked it up to experience in leaving places. After all, this is the 3rd year in a row moving somewhere in August and leaving the following summer. I was surprised by my lack of tears in the last week, by my feeling of calm saying goodbye.

And then, it hit. 6 hours to go until I get on the jet, and I'm sitting on my empty bedroom floor, sobbing. It seems silly - I've done this before. I've said goodbye to these people, this town, this house, this room even.

I still don't know what Bethel's magic is, exactly. But it's a place that can never be forgotten, and never be duplicated. I am sad to leave it. I will miss the sunrises and sunsets, and especially those weeks in the summer when the sun doesn't rise or set. I will miss the tundra cotton blowing in the wind. I will miss the ever changing colors of the tundra, rolling into the distance until it kisses the sky at that thin line that so many people living elsewhere have never seen. I will miss snuggling in the covers of my bed knowing that it is -40 outside. I will miss the heat of the sunlight in the summer, and the barbecues that happen every nice day for those 3 months. I will miss epic parties - planned and unplanned, costumed and otherwise. I will miss sitting around a kitchen table and talking about life, plans, sex, food, and most importantly, how shitty the weather is outside. I will miss making music with friends - creating something amazing out of instruments, voices, and occasionally, a shake weight.

So goodbye, Bethel, again. I hope that I can be happy in Boone, and I hope that your impact on my life informs me there. I know that you will be here to welcome me back every time with a blast of cold wind, a twinkling horizon, and an airport full of welcoming arms.

Love, Bethy