What up GRE?

Ok. I did it. Because if now now, then I would put it off forever. GRE is scheduled! ...in a week. Holy shit, time to get cracking! :)

number 7

RED LIPSTICK!

succeeding at my resolutions already!! :)

Love, Bethy

Resolutions

I don't always do too well with my New Year's Resolutions. I tend to make a lot of them, so that if I achieve two or three, I feel that I've accomplished something. This time, I've been thinking about what I want to do in 2012, and I want to do them all. These are not crackpot goals - these are things I need to do in order to become the person that I want to be growing to be. So without further ado...

2012 New Year's Resolutions

1. I WILL WRITE

I will write in my journal, I will write on my blog, I will write letters, I will write poetry, I will work on that novel about my screwed up love life that I started in high school. I will write because though I've been told I'm a good writer, I have never fully believed it, and I have allowed my insecurities from years ago hold me back. No more. In 2012, I will write.

2. I WILL TAKE THE GRE AND APPLY FOR GRADUATE SCHOOL.

...even if I'm not planning to go right now, or don't think I could possibly get in. It's time. It's been three and a half years since I graduated from USF, and my patience with jobs that have little to nothing to do with what I want to do with my life is growing thin. It's time to get learned again, Marybeth. In 2012, I will take the GRE and apply for grad school.

3. I WILL USE UP HEALTH AND BEAUTY PRODUCTS THAT I ALREADY OWN.

If I had a dollar for every little bottle of lotion that I have saved because "I'll use it someday", I wouldn't need to work for my rent money. This year, I will use up those things, and only buy more when what I have is totally gone. Finished. Done. In 2012, I will use up products I already own.

4. I WILL MAKE EXERCISE PART OF MY LIFE.

I struggled with how to word this one, because I honestly want to be able to make it work. Promising daily exercise, while sounding great, in reality doesn't always end up happening, even if I try. I want to have a healthier relationship with my body and my weight, and a new year affords me a chance to start that anew. For years, I have wanted to be one of those girls who works out when she's stressed - no promises on that, but I want to get closer to that than I am now. In 2012, I will exercise.

5. I WILL FLIRT WITH VEGETARIANISM.

I love meat. When I was little, my mother called me her "little carnivore", so I'm not trying to go completely veg here. But the environmental implications of the meat-centered American diet are impossible to ignore. We eat too much meat (I mean, let's be real, we eat too much everything but that includes our obsession with meat at the center of our plates.) As I explore the food world through school, all I find is that I keep thinking of how the world could be healthier (and more people in it could eat) if we all ate a little less meat. It's time to walk the talk. In 2012, I will flirt with vegetarianism.

6. I WILL GIVE YOGA A GOOD HONEST TRY.

And by this, I mean that I will do yoga at least every other day for one month this year, and see if I like it at the end to keep doing it. Yoga is something that I always think I will like, and the times when I do it, I love it - but I have such a hard time committing to any form of exercise. In 2012, I will try yoga.

and last but definitely not least...

7. I WILL WEAR RED LIPSTICK.

...because for years, I have wanted to be someone who can pull that off. ...because I think it looks gorgeous, and I don't want to be so concerned about looking "too fancy". ...and because I wore it last night at the bar I went to for New Years, and for the first time in my life, a stranger offered to buy me a drink. In 2012, I will wear red lipstick.

Love, Bethy

runnin' for/from exercise

I have a love/hate relationship with running.

After a 10K and a 10 mile two years ago and two half marathons last summer, I think that I thought that the running bug would stick....oh, I wished and hoped that it would stick.

...it didn't.

And yet, I just dragged my ass to the gym tonight (and I kind of mean that literally, I wasn't going to go if I couldn't take the car...to the gym...(I know, I'm one of those people...)) for a measly 3 miles, and after stepping off the treadmill, my first thought was "holy crap I feel good!"

Oh life...

love, Bethy

craft fair, Christmas plans, and the return of the netflix

1. For all of you who were wondering, the craft fair went well - not like I sold every pair of earrings well, but ok. I sold about 25 pairs in 4 hours, and actually made a little bit of money too! (Although, let's be honest, all of that went immediately into my debt to Chris for paying December rent).

***And as a special holiday side note - If you need something for a special lady in your life (or if you want pretty earrings for yourself) let me know! I have lots to sell!!***

2. Chris and I will be leaving for Washington in 6 days for Christmas. On Christmas Eve, I'll drive him to the airport so he can do Christmas Day with his family in California. I'm really excited to visit my parents and friends and to see Lisa again - I guess it's only been 6 months, but it feels like a lot longer. I'm sure that the crisp WA air is going to feel ridiculously cold (it always does - even when I was coming from Alaska), and will most certainly go in to Winco and cry about the extremely low prices and really really want there to be one in Boone.

3. My online class is (almost) over, and the final project and final paper were turned in yesterday. So, this means two things - A) It means that I'm going to be considerably less grumpy and stressed, and B) it means that I got Chris to give me his password to Netflix again. (I made him change it two and a half weeks ago so that I wouldn't be tempted to watch anything streaming until my paper/project was done). So, once my stuffs was turned in, I got the new password. BOOM! And there we go with instantly streaming "How I Met Your Mother"!

Until next time,

Bethy

To Gus

My dearest Gus -

Tonight, Chris and I went to a party and we saw the vet who worked with you while you were in the hospital. She remembered you before she remembered us, and I don't doubt for a minute why. You were the delight of all the vets and techs at the hospital for your last week.

Tonight, I label all my earrings "Handmade by Bethy Whalen - silverhilltopdesigns@gmail.com" in memory of you, even while I set up precarious piles of earring cards in the living room that I am sure you would have had on the floor in less than a second if you were still here.

Tonight, I miss you like mad, and am sad that I only got to live with you for one month (and 5 days in the minivan of glory while crossing the country with you). It seems silly that you could convince me to love dogs, even while cursing your name for eating food off the counter/laying on the couch/getting into the garbage for the upteenth time...and yet, it's true. I miss your comforting, if a little drooly head on my knee when I was sad, and how you would instinctively huddle next to me when I broke down. For every time that I yelled at you for climbing on furniture that you shouldn't have, I wish I could give you a hug now.

Tomorrow, I hope that people ask me about my company name, because I will tell them proudly about the joy you brought us.

I'm hoping you are well, and watching Chris and I from a throne grander than the one you had in the minivan, and are continually chewing on a delicious pork loin. Keep watch over us...we need you.

With all my love,

Bethy

Silver Hilltop Designs

In 3 days, I will sit down at a table and see if people will pay me for an item that I made with my own hands. It's a little nerve-wracking. I've been making jewelry (mostly earrings) for years now, but just for myself and family and friends. I have never sold anything...

In the first month of unemployment after moving to Boone, I started beading a little to pass the time during the day. And after we lost Gus, I beaded more to distract myself from the emptyness of the house - my companion had gone to a better place, and I was still here, sitting in the living room, but without someone to keep me company.

We buried Gus on the top of a ridgeline under a large maple tree. Halfway through digging the hole (which took a long time, let's be honest, Gus was no tiny dog, and his box was big enough for him, his blanket, his bone, some flowers and some love notes) I looked up, and noticed what looked like a light green cloud hovering just above the ground. Looking closer, I saw that they were tiny wispy trees. Apparently pine trees, those great giants start as these fragile wisps before they grow strong branches and roots. This image stuck in my mind.

Almost a month later, I decided to apply to sell earrings at the Boone Handmade Market. I wanted to create a name for my product that me

morialized my partner in crime for my first month in Boone. I thought about it for weeks, and nothing seemed to fit. And then, one night, as I was trying to fall asleep, I saw the image of those pine trees, and thought of the hilltop where Gus was. The next day, I sketched that hilltop on a piece of notebook paper.

Silver Hilltop Designs was born. And on Sunday, we'll see if it's a go or not...wish me luck.

Love, Bethy