Roller Derby

These are the reasons I want to be involved in Roller Derby:

1. It looks so amazingly kick ass I want to scream.

2. You get to knock people down.

3. Yelling and intimidation are part of the sport, and I'm already good at those things.

4. Your own roller derby name...and double entendre names are double as good.

5. The women who do roller derby are of all shapes and of all sizes. Like, for reals. None of that "athletic body type" bullcrap.

6. ANY REASON TO WEAR FISHNETS AND SHORTY-SHORTS. AND GARISH MAKEUP. WHILE EXERCISING.

These are the reasons why I have not yet joined a team:

1. I don't have any local and consistent health insurance.

My friend Matt is a roller derby ref in Juneau, AK. Check out this video and tell me that you can't just SEE me out there knocking girls to the ground...

Mornings

I can hear the birds chirping. Loudly. And honestly, as anyone who has ever lived with me knows, that is absolutely not normal. I am as big of a tried and true night owl as anyone has ever been, and damn proud of it. But this morning, despite falling into bed at 2am, I awoke early, with Chris as he was running out the door to an early class. And I will admit there is something to seeing the sun crest over the mountains, coloring the lawn to ready the world for the day. And it wasn't until I heard the birds singing that I realized how I so rarely hear them.

The application to NYU is due Wednesday. I suppose I'm freaking out about it enough that I don't even know what to do with myself. I've freaked myself out into a calm-like state of perpetual anxiety. That sounds like an oxymoron, but I promise you - it's not. It just leads to completely random screaming and crying in some attempt to let out a volcano of pent up emotions somewhat akin to pouring boiling vinegar into a bottle of baking soda. BOOM. Random and explosive...just ask Chris.

Of course, everything that should have been done weeks ago isn't completely finished. I pray that my Canadian transcripts get here soon, and that NYU has a third-person grace period. Other than that, I'm relying on lots of prayer. (Hey - I'm at least super-proud of myself that I managed to ask for letters of recommendation in a timely manner - if that's not a bonus, I don't know what is!) But seriously folks - if actually going to grad school is half as hard as applying to grad school, I might just do ok. :)

Of course, after Wednesday, the work isn't over. Montana State's deadline is Feb. 15th, and Boston's is March 1. Antioch accepts applications on a rolling basis, but I'd like to get them all done roughly the same time so I'm not dragging it out, so I've given myself a deadline of March 15th for Antioch.

I started my new Canadian class too, and HOO-BOY, it's a doozey! I'm not sure that I've had to read anything that dense since college, and, because I was a Performing Arts and Theology major, possibly not even then. I opened my assigned chapter on Food Policy, and found myself having to look up economics terms on Wikipedia to make it through the introduction to the chapter. Wikipedia was a little bit of help...until under the definition of the word, I found a math problem. WHAT?!?!?! A math problem?!?!?! WTF is going on here? Ugh. It was a rough night last night.

In other news, Chris got accepted to an internship in Anchorage this summer. He'll be leaving probably early May, and may not be back until right before school starts in August. That leaves me with more possibilities than I thought for the summer. And, as of right now, that what it all is - with nothing set in stone, all I have is possibility. It's terrifying. Just as it's been every. time. Every year, every change, every time. It's exciting, yes. It's scary, yes. And though I grow weary of it, I wouldn't deny my callings just to stay put. And I hope and pray that I will know when that time presents itself to stay somewhere. I hope I recognize it. Because I'm not really sure I've experienced it before. Ever.

blogging (and other things)

I get annoyed when people don't update their blogs.

...yes, I know. I don't update my blog very often. I actually think about blogging more than I do it. It's a problem. But, I like...scratch that...LOVE reading other people's blogs. (Mostly people I know, I don't know, it makes it feel a little less voyeuristic to me). And if I check, and you haven't updated your blog, there's a tiny little piece of me that feels sad. Lame, but true.

ANYWAY, the key to that whole piece there is that I will try to make a concerted effort to blog a little more consistently, just in case there's another wacko like me out there who really feels the need to read my ramblings on a semi-regular basis.

So, recently life has been crazy (no surprise there). Really crazy. I did take the GRE a few days ago. It went ok actually. I mean, I threw myself into a test designed to evaluate one's readiness for graduate studies asking questions about formulas that I haven't even given a second thought about since my senior year of high school. I studied math I haven't seen for 6 years for 6 days before the test. I didn't blow it out of the water, but I was pretty impressed with my score, considering. (Who remembers that one of the "special" right triangles has a ratio of 5:12:13 and has two thumbs??)

THIS GUY!

I also have worn red lipstick 3 times already in the new year! I completely love it, and am so excited that I made that one of my new year's resolutions!!

I also have signed up for another class in my Canadian certificate program. Initially, I wasn't going to - last semester turned out to be a little bit of a clusterfuck in terms of getting everything in, and I definitely wasn't as prepared or present for the class as I should have been. However, I made a little bit of a last minute decision, and signed up on Friday. The class started today, and after reading all the course materials, I know that it's going to be more difficult than the others have been. However, I think that it could be very rewarding as well. And, all in all, it's good preparation for...

Grad school.

Yes, I'm applying to grad school (which is a big part of the "life is crazy" bit). In between working, taking my class, trying to train, and attempting to keep my house warm (and that's the subject of another post entirely) I'm contacting references, ordering transcripts, and working on personal statements for four different grad programs. Now, applying to one grad school is tough. There's a lot that goes into the application, and working with other people's recommendations, and deadlines, and essays...it's a lot. With four, I want to smash my head into a brick wall. Of course, with four different applications comes four different essays, ordering enough transcripts from both USF and St. Lawrence (my Canadian classes), and a dazzling 10 recommendations (3 each for 2 schools, 2 each for the other two). Now, I'd like to think that I would be able to handle that, but here's the rub: every single program has a different format for their recommendations. There's the one with the online form that can only be accessed by registering my recommenders into a website. There's the two schools that have forms that have to be printed and sent in by paper copy, but have completely. different. questions. And then there's the school that just asks for a "letter of recommendation". That's it. No requirements, no guidelines, no nothing. Just a letter.

Trying to work out who I should ask for each school, in each format, by each due date is dizzying. And I really hope that I can get it all done in time. I'll have to write another blog about the programs I'm applying to another time.

And with that, I'm going to go get on that. Because it's almost 10pm, I'm exhausted, my house is a mess, and I have a personal statement to write, haha.

Until next time, (hopefully not too long!)

Bethy

What up GRE?

Ok. I did it. Because if now now, then I would put it off forever. GRE is scheduled! ...in a week. Holy shit, time to get cracking! :)

number 7

RED LIPSTICK!

succeeding at my resolutions already!! :)

Love, Bethy

Resolutions

I don't always do too well with my New Year's Resolutions. I tend to make a lot of them, so that if I achieve two or three, I feel that I've accomplished something. This time, I've been thinking about what I want to do in 2012, and I want to do them all. These are not crackpot goals - these are things I need to do in order to become the person that I want to be growing to be. So without further ado...

2012 New Year's Resolutions

1. I WILL WRITE

I will write in my journal, I will write on my blog, I will write letters, I will write poetry, I will work on that novel about my screwed up love life that I started in high school. I will write because though I've been told I'm a good writer, I have never fully believed it, and I have allowed my insecurities from years ago hold me back. No more. In 2012, I will write.

2. I WILL TAKE THE GRE AND APPLY FOR GRADUATE SCHOOL.

...even if I'm not planning to go right now, or don't think I could possibly get in. It's time. It's been three and a half years since I graduated from USF, and my patience with jobs that have little to nothing to do with what I want to do with my life is growing thin. It's time to get learned again, Marybeth. In 2012, I will take the GRE and apply for grad school.

3. I WILL USE UP HEALTH AND BEAUTY PRODUCTS THAT I ALREADY OWN.

If I had a dollar for every little bottle of lotion that I have saved because "I'll use it someday", I wouldn't need to work for my rent money. This year, I will use up those things, and only buy more when what I have is totally gone. Finished. Done. In 2012, I will use up products I already own.

4. I WILL MAKE EXERCISE PART OF MY LIFE.

I struggled with how to word this one, because I honestly want to be able to make it work. Promising daily exercise, while sounding great, in reality doesn't always end up happening, even if I try. I want to have a healthier relationship with my body and my weight, and a new year affords me a chance to start that anew. For years, I have wanted to be one of those girls who works out when she's stressed - no promises on that, but I want to get closer to that than I am now. In 2012, I will exercise.

5. I WILL FLIRT WITH VEGETARIANISM.

I love meat. When I was little, my mother called me her "little carnivore", so I'm not trying to go completely veg here. But the environmental implications of the meat-centered American diet are impossible to ignore. We eat too much meat (I mean, let's be real, we eat too much everything but that includes our obsession with meat at the center of our plates.) As I explore the food world through school, all I find is that I keep thinking of how the world could be healthier (and more people in it could eat) if we all ate a little less meat. It's time to walk the talk. In 2012, I will flirt with vegetarianism.

6. I WILL GIVE YOGA A GOOD HONEST TRY.

And by this, I mean that I will do yoga at least every other day for one month this year, and see if I like it at the end to keep doing it. Yoga is something that I always think I will like, and the times when I do it, I love it - but I have such a hard time committing to any form of exercise. In 2012, I will try yoga.

and last but definitely not least...

7. I WILL WEAR RED LIPSTICK.

...because for years, I have wanted to be someone who can pull that off. ...because I think it looks gorgeous, and I don't want to be so concerned about looking "too fancy". ...and because I wore it last night at the bar I went to for New Years, and for the first time in my life, a stranger offered to buy me a drink. In 2012, I will wear red lipstick.

Love, Bethy