Roller Derby

These are the reasons I want to be involved in Roller Derby:

1. It looks so amazingly kick ass I want to scream.

2. You get to knock people down.

3. Yelling and intimidation are part of the sport, and I'm already good at those things.

4. Your own roller derby name...and double entendre names are double as good.

5. The women who do roller derby are of all shapes and of all sizes. Like, for reals. None of that "athletic body type" bullcrap.

6. ANY REASON TO WEAR FISHNETS AND SHORTY-SHORTS. AND GARISH MAKEUP. WHILE EXERCISING.

These are the reasons why I have not yet joined a team:

1. I don't have any local and consistent health insurance.

My friend Matt is a roller derby ref in Juneau, AK. Check out this video and tell me that you can't just SEE me out there knocking girls to the ground...